I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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