none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
