so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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