$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
