every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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