How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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