i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
