Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
