You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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