maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
that may or may not have been my penis.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
