Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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