I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize