Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
