Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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