u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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