THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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