Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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