brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
