I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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