At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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