I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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