yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize