dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
