I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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