she smelled like a LAN party
We got so high we made milksteak
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
