are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
