I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
