i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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