I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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