You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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