you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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