shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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