Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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