Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we're making bets on your personal life
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
