Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
