hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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