Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
