Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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