His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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