I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
