I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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