I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
