Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize