She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i can't believe i had my finger in that
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
