i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
NoShamevember. You game?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
