Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
