So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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