i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize