I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
