just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
BRING THE BAGELS
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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