how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
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If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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