i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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