She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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