it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
