do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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