A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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