He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
