never play flip cup with pint glasses
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
