i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
